Dada - The Selfless

                     The one question I was never able to answer was,"How will you define the word 'Appa'?".

'Appa' - Is it a phrase? Or a sentence? May be an emotion?. Whatever be it, To me it just means one thing,The selfless. Yes , The biggest room in my home is mine. The largest wardrobe is mine. The most comfortable bathroom in the house belongs to me. The crunches in the refrigerator, vegies in the vegetable basket, Newspapers on the shelf and shoes in the shoe rack, all of these have been mine. They were always organized and maintained according to my needs and wants. Appa has just been the source of it. His entire bank savings got depleted for my education and marriage. Through all the walks of my life he is with me not as a dictator but as a silent spectator. Therefore it's not the word LOVE, but the word SELFLESS that  defines him the best.

                       I enjoy being his little princess and the Queen of my reign. The only time I saw him nervous and anxious was during my labour. The moment I got shifted to the normal ward with my little Mascot I saw a completely different person in him. His blind love for my daughter makes him grow younger each day despite his old age. Now she has become his everything. She is the one whom he loves more than anything in this world. The one he loves more than me. How is that possible??. One day I somehow picked up guts and questioned him,

"How could you love her so much more than your own daughter?". 

                        He looked at me and with his signature smile replied, " It's because I see you in her. To every man who are Father's of daughters their granddaughter is the greatest blessing of life. I lived my life for you. You were, you are and you will be my everything.  When you were a tiny tot I had the fear for bring you up as a brave and independent girl.By the time you got matured enough to handle things on your own, I got the fear of finding you the right man. And at last when you found out your Man I got the fear of seperation. The void in my life after our separation couldn't be explained. I started longing to have you back as a child in my arms. That is exactly when this little angel arrived. It's true that I see my mother in you, the same way I see you in my granddaughter. And ofcourse I mentioned it right. She is the greatest blessing of my life. As a Grandpa I get to experience the joys of your childhood again which you'll never get to know. What else does a Man need?".

                           I stood spellbound and that's when he shot his last arrow from his quiver,"Do you know the value of daughters and why are they treasured more than sons?". I couldn't come up with an answer. After few moments of silence he answered," You love your husband so much. You've told me that you See me in him. Have you ever thought what will your Man do without you?.

A Daughter-in-law can fill a man's tummy yet his heart will remain empty. As every girl needs her FATHER, every man needs a MOTHER. If you get to leave this earth before your Man, you just don't leave your daughter with him, but a woman with piece of you and his mother in her. I admit sons can take care of their father's needs but every father needs a daughter to understand him during his second childhood.

                          We men are just givers but you women are the nurturers. No seed can grow in air, it requires a fertile soil. A family tree grows not because of a man but a woman. I would have never experienced this pride if I had a son. The moment I held your daughter in my hands I cried out of joy. I wasn't happy that you are safe at the moment, I felt calm and contented that you'll be safe forever. There's someone to love and take care of you after me. 

Trust me, you have mothered a Miracle in disguise".

                 

             This conversation changed my entire perspective on life as a parent. Since then Every morning I look at my Daughter and promise to myself that

Whatever be the circumstances,

I'll never let her shine fade.she'll always be precious and celebrated as her selfworth matters a lot to me. 

                          I never new there exsisted such nuances in the bond between a 

father- daughter- Granddaughter.

 All I got to say to those two Men in my life,"Thank You so much".